Dear Yogesh, I manage a large team of accounting professionals at a company with about 4,800 employees. I’ve worked hard to build a strong, dedicated team, and I’m proud of the group we’ve become. However, I have an ongoing issue with our payroll manager (PM), who is otherwise a solid worker and extremely skilled when it comes to working with our software provider. He’s caught errors others missed and has proven invaluable in many ways. The problem is PM’s attitude when dealing with employees, particularly when it’s an executive with a high salary. He tends to be rude and off-putting, and we've received enough complaints that my boss is now pressuring me to address the situation. I’ve tried giving him feedback and even recommended that he take a customer service course through our online learning platform. Recently, PM made an insulting comment to a regional VP of sales. I wasn’t present, but plenty of people heard it, and I’m bracing for an official complaint. When I spoke with him about it, he admitted that the VP’s condescending attitude triggered him, and he lashed out. He’s also made it clear that he resents the salaries of certain employees, particularly executives, and has often mentioned that he feels accounting is underpaid—though, in reality, all of us are compensated appropriately for our roles. Still, PM seems frustrated by what he perceives as a disparity. I’ve told him that his behavior is damaging his reputation and will affect my ability to advocate for a raise. He didn’t take it well, got upset, and walked away, visibly angry. Since then, he’s been sulking and acting irritable with the team. Part of me is worried he might quit, but on the other hand, if his behavior doesn’t change, I may be forced to let him go. I’ve tried everything I can think of to help him, but nothing seems to work. How can I get PM to deal with his resentment and stop being rude to customers? Sincerely, Dear Vivek, I can see how much you care about helping PM, but here’s a harsh reality: you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. While I’d love to tell you that it’s always possible to change someone’s behavior, in this case, it may be a matter of whether PM is ready to face the truth about his own attitudes. It sounds like PM is struggling with several things: disappointment in his salary, frustration with the work he’s doing, and difficulty interacting with people, particularly those he feels are more highly compensated. Money is often a huge trigger for resentment, and when combined with PM’s perceived disrespect from others, it creates the perfect storm for unprofessional behavior. The truth is, customer service requires certain personality traits—empathy, patience, and approachability—that might not come naturally to PM. While taking a course could help, I’m not sure it would address the deeper issues he’s facing. Some people are simply not suited to customer-facing roles, and forcing them to adapt can be like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. That said, here are a few steps you can take to address this situation: Be Direct: Sit down with PM and ask him if he really wants to stay in the role. If he says yes, you need to be clear: his negative attitude and rudeness towards others cannot continue. He might be brilliant with the technical aspects of his job, but professionalism and civility are non-negotiable. If he is unwilling to change, you may need to part ways. Consider a Role Change: If possible, consider adjusting PM’s role so he doesn’t have to directly interact with customers. This might mean reassigning his customer service responsibilities to someone who has the empathy and patience for it, while PM can focus on the technical work he excels at. However, reassigning roles can be tricky in larger organizations, and you may need to make some tough decisions about job descriptions and expectations. Let the Chips Fall: Continue to give PM feedback, but if he doesn’t improve, you may have to let him go. This option reflects poorly on you, but sometimes managers must let things unfold and deal with the consequences of a difficult situation. Have a Heart-to-Heart: When PM calms down, consider having an honest conversation. Let him know that you’re on his side and want to help him succeed, but that his attitude needs to change. You might suggest he work with a coach or therapist to help manage his bitterness about pay or deal with his anger triggers. A more personal approach might help him see the issue more clearly. I understand your desire to keep a technically capable team member, but at the end of the day, it’s up to PM whether he wants to change. If he’s unwilling or unable to address his behavior, there’s not much you can do except move forward without him. Best regards, Yogesh
Vivek