Dear Yogesh,

I’ve attended many courses that use skill models, including the Crucial Learning courses. For example, Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue offers a model that guides you through what to do before, during, and after a crucial conversation. In Getting Things Done, I learned a series of steps for taking control of my workflow, from capturing ideas to completing projects. But do I need to follow these models from A to Z? How much of a model do I need to follow to see results?

Signed,
Preeti

Dear Preeti,

This is a great question, and one many people grapple with as they work to develop new skills and behaviors. Ironically, after reading this response, you’ll probably still find it difficult to apply some of what I share. Instead of diving into the complexities of becoming an expert (a process that can take 10,000 hours of deliberate practice), I’ll offer a few practical tips to help you retain and apply what you learn—whether it’s from a two-day class, an online course, a book, or even a TED talk. And, in the spirit of this message, I suggest you pick just one of these tips and try it out.

The Easy Answer

You’ve likely heard the saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” But what if you’re full after just a few bites? Ask yourself, “Do I really need to follow this entire model to benefit?” You might want to fully implement the whole model later, but for now, focus on the skills that will make the most impact on the challenges you’re facing today, this week. In my experience, you probably don’t need the entire model, and even if you did, you likely wouldn’t use it all at once. Instead, identify which skill will have the greatest impact if applied consistently over the next month, and focus solely on that. Go all in. Some experts suggest that just twenty hours of deliberate practice is enough to become proficient at a skill (see The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything Fast).

Break It Down Even Smaller

You don’t apply the Crucial Conversations model as a whole; you apply small, actionable steps. Focus on specific skills or behaviors rather than trying to master the entire model or principle. When learning a new skill, pause and ask yourself, “What’s the next micro-action I can take to apply this skill?” For example, if you’ve learned how to apologize more effectively, your next step might be calling your spouse during the next break to apologize for being short with them that morning. Focus on taking the smallest action possible.

Create Disfluency

A few months ago, I was working with author Charles Duhigg, and he mentioned the concept of disfluency—the idea that in order to truly absorb new information, you need to make the learning process a bit more difficult. Disfluency is about intentionally slowing down the learning process so you can better assimilate new skills or concepts. This could involve taking handwritten notes, summarizing what you’ve learned to someone else, or preparing a short presentation for your next meeting. The harder it is to absorb the information, the more deeply you’ll understand it. Try this now: Go to a coworker or call your spouse and, in thirty seconds, explain what you’ve learned from this article. Give it a try!

Practice > Learning

I once worked with Ethna Reid, an expert on teacher behaviors that drive measurable improvements in student learning. She often told me that, when designing any learning experience, there should be a 2:1 ratio of practice/application to learning. The same applies to you and me. It’s nice to say that we’ve read a book on how to influence others, but it’s far more rewarding to actually practice influencing. As Dr. Stephen Krashen of USC puts it, learning is only valuable if it enables you to plan, edit, and correct yourself while practicing. If it doesn’t, you should focus more on practice than learning.

Let me know in the comments what strategies you use to retain new skills.

Best wishes,

Yogesh

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