Dear Yogesh,

A mentoring program was started by my organization a few years ago. Our intelligent web system allows potential mentees to browse bios and request mentors from those who have registered. I have loved being a mentor to the few folks who have picked me.

Although our system gives mentors some rules, there needs to be more information, and I have some questions. Since our HR could only provide a few answers, I asked you. I noticed you are a coach and am curious about the difference between coaching and mentoring. What duties do I have as a mentor? How can I determine how much is adequate? What is excessive? What happens if I overhear something I believe my mentee's boss ought to know?

Regards

Anuj

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Dear Anuj,

Such a fun query! Thanks! To start with, you are a good person for agreeing to mentor. Although it can be a lot of fun, and you will undoubtedly learn a lot, it is a service you offer.

Despite being informed that nobody purchases or reads books anymore, I feel compelled to suggest the one Ken Blanchard and Claire Diaz-Ortiz co-authored, One Minute Mentoring: How to Find and Work with a Mentor—And Why You'll Benefit from Being One.The book is simple and enjoyable to read and will help you fill in some gaps.

Here are some pointers, though:

• Identify desired results. What the mentee aims to achieve by working with a mentor is the first thing you should establish in a mentoring relationship. This will enable you to create a relationship roadmap and determine whether you succeeded.
• Establish a timetable. You should also set a time limit for the mentoring relationship, though if both parties are on board, you can decide to keep it going after you cross the finish line. But setting a deadline removes any uncertainty about calling it a day if the objectives have been met or if either party wants to move on.
• Draught a partnership contract. How are you going to collaborate? If the need arises, how will you provide feedback to one another? How will you handle it?
• Construct a structure. The agreement can be adjusted as you go, but giving the function some form is crucial. Do you prefer to talk on the phone, use Zoom, or meet in person? How frequently and for how long? Decide on a midpoint check-in to see if everything is progressing as you would like.
• Monitor progress. The mentee should compile a written account of the objectives, commitments, successes, and realizations made throughout the mentoring relationship. You will benefit from realizing the importance of the time you spend together.
• Let the mentee lead the connection. Being a mentor is a service. Hence, it would help if you did not look for your mentee. The mentee needs to treat the assignment more seriously. You can discover why the mentee is skipping meetings by posing the question. You could also inquire whether anything you have said or done has alienated the mentee. That demonstrates that you are upholding your end of the contract so that you may move on.
• Establish the parameters for secrecy. Your query, "What if I hear something?" is answered below. —The "cone of silence," which allows mentees to feel safe being themselves and disclosing things they aren't comfortable sharing with anyone else, is something I support. This requires you to pledge never to divulge any information you acquire about your mentee unless required by law. I hope your company has provided some instructions; perhaps they are hidden in the small print.

You might be required to report anything you hear about:

• Severe mental health conditions, such as suicidal thoughts.
• Anything that could result in a legal dispute. Let's say, for instance, that your mentee is experiencing what would be considered harassment. Because you represent the organization, it could backfire on you if your mentee can demonstrate that he raised the issue with an organization official and nothing was done—even if he specifically requested that you refrain from taking any action.
• Unlawful conduct. For instance, if your mentee thinks her employer or a co-worker is stealing, divulging trade secrets, or acting in other shady ways.

I am aware that our professional coaches must adhere to these standards. Of course, you should always encourage your mentee to get help from HR or a mental health professional as a first line of defense. They could only need your assistance in separating fact from rumor or, in the worst-case scenario, gathering the guts to escalate if necessary.

• The mentor's duties traditionally include: Serving as a role model by taking part in particular activities and exhibiting behaviors that are role specific.
• Consulting: Exchanging knowledge or experience regarding the market, business, or division the mentor thinks the mentee should know about.
• Brokering: Introduce individuals who are essential, consequential, or otherwise beneficial to the organization or industry.
• Advocating: Supporting the mentee's job responsibilities or professional advancement to aid in the mentee's development and growth.
• Championing: Encouragement to ask for what is required for growth by listening to the mentee's interests, passions, and strengths.

Mentors frequently engage in coaching conversations. This could occur when a goal needs to be more specific or a challenge is tough to solve. Coaching can be used in these circumstances to bring about clarity. Coaching is a fantastic tool when the mentor lacks the knowledge to contribute the most value or provide guidance. Coaching discussions encourage exploration, produce insights, and make clear the intended course of action for another. When something like this happens, pay close attention, repeat what you hear, and ask open-ended questions.

Depending on the circumstance, you might use the following traditional coaching questions:

• What is currently most crucial?
• What is going well or not going as you'd like it to?
• What motivates or sustains you?
• What conviction might not be beneficial to you?
• What do you need help with?
• What role have you played in creating this situation?
• How could you alter the story?
• How will you reach this conclusion?
  

A mentor will respond to your inquiries, whereas a coach will challenge your responses, as one recent webinar participant succinctly said. While the coach is committed to helping the mentee become great, it is often true that the mentor would prefer to be the brilliant one with all the answers. And if the two of you are meant to be, you'll both be smart. Do these discussions frequently cross over and merge? They do, for sure.

Ultimately, you will have to trust yourself and utilize your excellent judgment if you recognize that your priority should be to speak out for the mentee's best interests.

I wish you continued success in your mentoring endeavors!

Yogesh


Reference Link: The above is an adaptation of a blog written by MADELEINE HOMAN BLANCHARD on January 28, 2023, https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/want-to-be-a-better-mentor-ask-madeleine