Dear Yogesh,

I have recently been promoted to a managerial position in my company. The work has increased manifold, and it is more than I expected. When I discuss it with my fellow employees, they reply casually and say that they let things roll off their shoulders easily. This is one skill that I don’t possess.

It is very hard for me to take that call and let it roll off. This is not just stressing me out but also bringing my performance down. How can I make sure these things don’t ruin my career and work-life balance (that is already started)?

Regards
Susheel

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Dear Susheel,

When any part of our life is unsorted or not as how we plan it to be, it can stain everything. I've encountered this more times than I can recollect.

Here is my reiteration to myself (and anyone who wishes to tune in): there are no issues, just projects and tasks. Apart from that (and this is the hard information), we stress more about things that we wished were different and where we are not actively engaged in. We don't say anything negative with regard to things like the sun or the gravitational force, even if these may add to a ton of difficulties.

We cannot say that things are, in every case, simple or agreeable. When we stress about things, there's a bell ringing (something disturbing us) to which we haven't yet reacted. The actual world is fine—it's not overpowered or pushed. The issue is the way we are locked in with our reality.

For instance, in case something is not right, and we need to bring it back to place, you need to sort out why it annoys you, what you could do about it, and afterward draw in with your obligation to its goal. If you realize there's no way around it, you should acknowledge it as a highlight of the picture in which you work. That is the key reason. Next, in case there is something you can do to explain, resolve, or eliminate the strain you are feeling, ask yourself- what should be your next activity? That is the thing that you need to decide and act accordingly.

Reacting in this manner may not make the world you need; however, it will help to ease the feelings and emotions you talk about.

Another approach that people take is to settle for less to have less pressure on themselves. A lot of people follow that, and I agree it might be the best option for some. Your associates who "let things roll off their shoulders" might be in that camp.

In any case, since you're presumably not going to settle for less, the best alleviation will come from exploring and thinking about the entirety of your responsibilities and values and the difficulties you face. You need to take a gander at your circumstance from a bigger and higher viewpoint. Also, you're not going to do that in your mind. As you might have heard, some people say that ‘your brain is your other office.’

Consider asking yourself these questions, and write the answers someplace:

1- What's your motivation?

2- What are your top qualities that help your work efficiently?

3- What's your vision of an effective future?

4- How should you deal with conquering that vision?

5- What do you have to keep up with?

6- What are your next activities?

As you answer these questions for yourself, It will become simpler for you to relate. Everybody is attempting to put forth a valiant effort with what they know and where they are. I've understood that with regard to myself.

When you have an open mindset and consider what you have in hand, along with prioritizing the things that are important and that can be pushed, you will have a better understanding of what is going on around you and how you can manage it.

Let me know how it worked.

Best,
Yogesh Sood

The above is inspired by a blog written by David Allen on August 11, 2021: https://cruciallearning.com/2021/08/dont-let-it-bring-you-down/.