Dear Yogesh,

I felt very motivated at the beginning of this year with things I wanted personally and professionally; goals for health, productivity, etc. Now with our company going through another restructuring, many people are losing jobs, and a good number of employees are being moved overseas. As an HR Manager with global teams, my job has become very hectic, with constant emails, chats, video conferences, and remote bonding activities. With long work hours because of the conflicting time zones, I feel exhausted at the end of each day. There is no semblance of “work-life balance,” and this frustration makes me mad and bitter. All my plans for myself have gone for a toss, and I feel I’m on a downward slide. What can I do?
Regards,
Abhijit

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Dear Abhijit,

Yes, that is a very relevant question “What can I do.” With the pandemic and the consequent turmoil world over, last year was tough on people, both health-wise and financially. This year is no better, with a more fatal second wave, but the good thing is, we have experienced it once and have learned to handle the situation much better. There are certainly many things that you cannot do, for example, stop the pandemic, ease the financial pressures of your organization, etc. However, there are things you can do to take charge of your situation and reverse your downward slide. There are 3 steps you can adopt to help you with the same.
Remove the small stones.

The threshold levels of each person to handle stress are different. So if you visualize your ability to handle stress as a bucket, you will require buckets of different sizes for everyone. There are big and small things or obstacles that lead to stress, for example, loss of job, big illness, death in the family, a messy house, etc. We wait for our bucket to overflow, and at that point, we reach the peak of our stress-taking capacity, and we shut down. It becomes too much to handle for us, and we feel that we cannot take more than that and that it is not ever going to end.

It is a fact that when we reach that stage and frantically search for a way out, we always look at only the big rocks. We wonder how to remove those big stress reasons and come out of them. We fail to realize that those big stressors or rather big rocks are fixed. However, you have the option of removing the small stones leading to those big rocks. We can constantly keep removing those small stressors which we often overlook. So the key to coming out of the shutdown mode is not to remove all the big rocks but to focus on the small stones leading to those big rocks. Undoubtedly, getting a big rock removed will do wonders to you, but then it is equally important to focus on the small rocks. Start with removing the smaller rocks. You can relook at your work chart and prioritize them in terms of unavoidable tasks, urgent tasks, etc. Some tasks can be outsourced, while some can be postponed or canceled altogether.

Very often, people tend to ignore the small rocks, which contribute immensely to their overall stress. So one need not remove all the big rocks to get a semblance of peace but focus on the small stressors or the little rocks, which are easier to remove. So it is not always necessary to fix everything in your life and work (because some you can and some you cannot fix). Just remove the small rocks and keep the work rolling.
What to do right now to get to what I want.

Once you have started focusing on the small rocks, you will get a breather to re-evaluate your situation and realize what you want.

Very often, we make plans far removed from our present situation that seems too far-fetched. This will make it difficult for you to achieve your plans, especially with the current scenario. Hence, it would be prudent to question yourself, “What can I do right now to move towards what I want?” You need to take one step at a time. So take the first firm step towards your journey to get what you want. When you are at the bottom of the slide, avoid taking multiple steps at a time. You can congratulate yourself after taking your first step, and I am certain you will feel immensely good. Then you can take your next step.
Renegotiate.
Many times, the situation changes, and it is a reality. It often leads to frustration and stress, as we might have made prior commitments based on the current situation prevailing at that time. But then, when the changed circumstance is not of your making, there is no need to feel stressed. Commitments made under a particular scenario and situation will certainly be valid only if the situation does not change. But under the changed circumstance, you can certainly renegotiate. So you need to take a hard look at all your commitments made and identify the ones that need to be renegotiated.

At work, for commitments that need to be renegotiated, you need to sit down with the leaders with all your facts and then lay out your renewed plans and strategies. If there are new responsibilities given to you during the interim, if you can convince them that some of the new responsibilities require immediate attention, thereby overlooking the commitments made on some earlier tasks and what would be the overall impact, then there is no reason for them to be adamant and insist you stick to your earlier commitments. You need to re-evaluate all your earlier commitments and the new responsibilities in light of the changed circumstance and convince them about the best possible outcome, they should surely agree with you in the larger interest of the organization.

These tips will not magically help you step out of your downward slide overnight. But, it will certainly help you to re-think and re-organize and look at things from a fresh perspective and help you gain that peace and sense of achievement. So focus on what you can do and move in the right direction.

Goodluck Abhijit.
Best,

Yogesh

This blog is an adaptation of a blog written by Emily Gregory on April 7th, 2021 - https://cruciallearning.com/blog/try-this-when-youre-feeling-overworked-and-overwhelmed/