Dear Yogesh,

I'm a senior executive and a full-time mother. I'm generally a level-headed, upbeat person that loves my profession.
But lately, I've been feeling a little off. What does it imply when everyone and everything irritates you?

Regards,
Sakshi

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Dear Sakshi,

These days, of course, my initial concern is that you might be developing pneumonia, bronchitis, strep throat, the flu, or Covid.

Once you've ruled that out, you must consider the significant life events that might result in stress, even when they're happy. Are you relocating your residence to the good list? Planning a wedding? Scheduling one of your children's weddings? Do you have a puppy? (Stop even bringing up the puppy issue.) Even though they are all great and enjoyable, those occurrences have a way of genuinely knocking you off balance. Then comes the not-so-fun biggie: Maybe you recently lost a loved one and are still grieving, but you should have moved on by now.

You might tolerate it too much if it's not a major life issue.

Tolerations are small, seemingly insignificant things that sap your energy.

The term was created by Thomas Leonard, a pioneer in the coaching industry, to describe all the little things that take up brain space and cause us to divert from the work at hand.

Like barnacles on a ship's hull, tolerances tend to build up. Layers of them substantially impair the speed and seaworthiness of the vessel, while a few are not a concern. A ship with barnacles will need twice as much fuel to reach its target as a ship without any.

The concept of toleration is straightforward. These silly small things can make you feel you are lugging a heavy load. Each individual has a critical mass. Some people are more resilient than others. The exact way you describe it—everything grating and everyone aggravating—is how you know you've reached it.

List all the silly small things you tolerate in your relationships, at work, and around the house. Choose a handful that you can eliminate today or this week. You'll soon be back on track. These examples would be helpful.

• Your shoes are worn out because you walk five miles every day.
• When you're not looking, your dog keeps eating from the counter.
• Meetings you promised to attend at work are scheduled before them. They can easily see when you are available but they need to check.
• There is no place for new items in your closet, and you seldom wear half the things there.
• Your computer's folder system needs to be updated because it takes 6 clicks to access the
  files you are working on.
  
• Since someone took it, you can't plug in your phone charger in the kitchen to listen to podcasts while preparing supper.
  
• Even if you know that you are paying for subscriptions you never use, you have yet to have the time to cancel every one.
  
• It is necessary to inquire about who is responsible for taking out the trash in the home. Repeatedly.
  
• The concept of "full" may differ for you and the individual who believes you should be taking out the garbage.
  
• You promise to switch everything to paperless billing every time you pick up the mail, but you must remember.
  
• Your favorite plant is flourishing so much that it requires a new pot.
• Even though you're sick of your book club, you're afraid of upsetting someone.

See? Little things. Dumb. Nothing major. But you probably have more than 10, which is the maximum for most people now. You'll soon be back to being upbeat and composed if you cross some of them off the list. I swear.

Tolerations tend to accumulate over time. Therefore, I recommend compiling a list twice yearly and developing a strategy to deal with each. It feels fantastic.

All the best,
Sakshi

Reference Link: The above is an adaptation of a blog written by MADELEINE HOMAN BLANCHARD on FEBRUARY 4, 2023, https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/everything-is-irritating-and-you-don-t-know-why-ask-madeleine