Dear Shyam,

Your situation— getting your team to accept change— is challenging and layered, with resistance compounded by personal tensions. Rather than offering a single solution, I’ll provide a range of approaches you can consider. Think of these as ingredients in a recipe—choose what feels most applicable and helpful.

1. Listen to the “Weak Signals”

You mention one particularly challenging team member who openly expressed dislike for you. While her behavior may seem dismissive or unprofessional, it might also contain valuable feedback—even if delivered poorly.

In many workplaces, people avoid giving honest feedback, especially to their leaders. This means even brusque or critical comments can offer insights into perceptions of your leadership or communication style. Approach this as an opportunity for growth.

Consider asking her for a private meeting, framed as an invitation to share her perspective. You might say, “I’m concerned that I may be doing something that’s making it harder for us to work together effectively. I’d really appreciate your honest feedback.” Then, listen without defensiveness. Take notes, ask clarifying questions, and avoid arguing or justifying yourself in the moment. Once the conversation ends, reflect on her comments, identify any useful truths, and plan how to address them.

By showing openness and humility, you may not only gain insight but also shift the tone of your relationship with her.

2. Remove Resistance Instead of Adding Force

The natural reaction to resistance is often to push harder, but this can escalate tensions. Instead, aim to reduce the resistance by understanding its roots.

Psychologist Kurt Lewin likened resistance to driving with one foot on the brake and one on the accelerator. To move forward effectively, address what’s holding people back. Start by asking your team what concerns or challenges they see with the changes. Approach these conversations with curiosity, not defensiveness.

3. Leverage Opinion Leaders

Organizational change rarely succeeds through top-down directives alone. People are more likely to embrace change when they see respected peers doing so.

Identify the opinion leaders on your team—the individuals others trust and look to for guidance. Invite these individuals to discuss the proposed changes candidly. Share the reasoning behind the changes, and listen closely to their feedback. Involve them in refining the process and, where possible, let them experience the benefits of the changes firsthand.

When opinion leaders visibly support a change, their influence can inspire others to follow suit. By enlisting their help, you shift the dynamic from “leader versus team” to “team working together.”

4. Differentiate Motivation Issues from Ability Issues

When resistance arises, it’s tempting to assume the root cause is a lack of motivation. However, the real issue is often a lack of ability.

Do your team members fully understand why the changes are necessary? Have they had sufficient training or support to implement the changes confidently? Do they feel overwhelmed or unprepared?

For example, a hospital I worked with faced resistance from doctors reluctant to adopt a new electronic medical records system. Leaders initially attributed the pushback to stubbornness. Upon deeper investigation, they discovered it was an ability issue: doctors struggled with the system, felt unprepared, and found the training materials unhelpful.

The solution wasn’t coercion—it was support. Leaders organized hands-on training sessions, paired doctors with mentors, and provided on-the-spot assistance during implementation. With this approach, 95% of the doctors embraced the system within two weeks.

Ask yourself: What might your team need to feel more confident and capable? Can you provide clearer instructions, better tools, or additional support?

5. Address Passive-Aggressive Dynamics Head-On

If passive-aggressive behavior persists, it can poison team morale. Be prepared to address it directly but constructively.

Start by clarifying expectations for professionalism and collaboration. Focus on the impact of behaviors, not personal traits. For example, you might say to the challenging team member, “When you shrug in response to a request for professionalism, it creates tension and sets a tone that’s unhelpful for the team. I’d like us to work together respectfully to move forward.”

Document repeated incidents and consider involving HR or a neutral third party if the behavior doesn’t improve. While fostering collaboration is ideal, there are times when firm boundaries are necessary to protect the team’s overall well-being.

Best regards,

Yogesh

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