Dear Yogesh,

I recently got promoted to a managerial-level position and was very excited to take on my new responsibilities with new zeal. However, this enthusiasm went in vain because my new boss couldn’t match the energy. She is just not competent enough.

When I try to have a discussion regarding deadlines and priorities, she gets confused and changes her mind a lot of times which leads to further confusion in work. There are times when she keeps the meeting and doesn’t attend. 10 minutes of our time is spent on the flurry of text messages and phone calls in order to get her to join.

And even when she joins, she starts talking about her personal life and problems. Her kids, house renovation, and the other details of her tiresome life. We know everything about her kids and how one of them is always sick. She never even bothers to ask us about our lives and always complains about how the prices are high and how it is tough for her to survive.

Even though we know she makes a six-figure salary, she still wants us to empathize with her, which is very tough. I am not sure how I can perform well in a position where I’m not aligned with my manager. It feels like a comedy routine and just leaves me stunned every day.

Please suggest what to do.

Yours Sincerely
Aviroop

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Dear Aviroop,

We normally think that situations like these exist in comedy movies only (like funny or horrible bosses), but it is hard to believe when we face these challenges in real life. As far as I can see in your situation, you have two options; you can either quit and find another job that gives you more liberty to work on things compared to your current scenario, or you can be patient and take ownership of what comes your way.

Another thing that I’ve noticed in your explanation is that you do not share any vision or do not seem aligned with the mission of the company. Also, you have nowhere mentioned how much you love to work with the company or how good your team or other co-workers are. I might be wrong, but if you are not happy with the above-mentioned, then I think it is time for you to take action as soon as possible.

Even though it is unacceptable in a professional situation, your boss may be going through a lot of stress which is more than she can handle. There is a high chance that somebody close to her is very sick, and her house renovation is causing her a lot of money.

We can give her the benefit of the doubt with that. As far as the work is concerned, you can be aligned with your co-workers and other employees for deadlines and give her a breather till she’s able to get herself together. You can reach out to others in the company for priorities and give your boss grace.

If you choose to leave, other bosses can be mean, petty, and driven by unconscious bias that can lead to actual suffering. You can choose to adjust your attitude here, be a more sympathetic person, and give your boss relief from a few things at work, setting an example for others to see the true spirit of leadership.

Let me know if it worked for you.

Regards,
Yogesh Sood

The above is inspired by a blog written by Madeleine Homan Blanchard on August 1, 2021: https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/new-boss-is-just-not-competent-ask-madeleine