Dear Yogesh,

I am Sejal, working as a writer in an Ecommerce firm. I am struggling to collaborate with a coworker. She and I are different and do not get along when it comes to working. Our communication styles are different, and she even cuts me off at times. She tries to undermine me and says “NO” to any new idea. I try and keep everything in sync, but she always finds a way to argue. Prior to my joining the organization, she had already created a toxic environment. She does not have a good rapport with anyone. However, this behavior has been allowed to continue for a long. This is getting on my nerves. Please help!

Signed,

Sejal

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Dear Sejal,

Handling such situations at the workplace is complicated. There is a probability of low morale, low performance, and a major impact on careers and well-being. Considering your situation, I have some suggestions for your consideration:

Talk it out: The best you can do is to talk about it. You must start from somewhere so that things get resolved. First, tell her that her behavior is not acceptable. Secondly, give her honest feedback about her actions and ask her to share her feedback too. There can be success and failure but, sooner or later, you will be able to resolve it. Avoiding this discussion can take a toll on your mind, making it worse for you to deal with it.

Let it go: Another option is to calm down. You can work on your tolerance. For example, when she cuts you off, do not respond. If someone behaves like this, it does not mean you should also react in the same manner. The most important task is to learn to live happily and not let yourself get affected. If you follow this, you must do it with all your heart and strength.

Hold boundaries for the things you are not willing to let go: It is you who can build boundaries. Her job is to interrupt you and make you feel embarrassed. Do not give importance to her behavior, just create your boundary. You can politely say, “I am yet to finish, I will try to be brief.” If others cut
you and you say nothing, you are disrespecting yourself.

Make a decision: The last option for you is to make a decision. If she bothers you and this is affecting your life, then you need to take a call. However, if you do not move on, you are choosing any of the aforementioned points. Do not ever blame her for who she is, try to convey your concerns instead. Do not be dishonest to yourself. Be brave and respond to her the way you want and stop being a victim.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Yogesh Sood

This blog is inspired by a recent blog written by Joseph Grenny on July 28, 2020 - https://cruciallearning.com/blog/what-to-do-when-a-coworker-doesnt-listen-crucial-learning/

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