One of Your Employees is Too Emotional? Ask Yogesh Sood.
Dear Yogesh,
I work as an operations manager for a large sales firm that deals in buying and selling goods as well as providing after-sales services. It is a high-paced organization. There are a lot of quarries that we need to deal with, especially on the first two days of the week. The phones ring off the hook, and I understand that it can be overwhelming sometimes.
We have one employee who is becoming a big challenge for me. She is a trained customer care executive who has work experience of 1 year. She is proficient at what she does, reliable, and a good employee who can learn quickly. The problem is that she is over-emotional. When it comes to receiving feedback for a mistake she made, she starts crying and comes to me with further complaints. If a customer talks in a loud voice, she completely breaks down and is sad for the rest of the day.
To tell you a little about my personal life, I never had any sisters and have limited experience with women. This is the first time I’ve faced a situation like this, especially at my workplace. I do not want to sound rude to her, but I really want her to get it together. Any advice or suggestions are welcome.
Regards,
Raj
Dear Raj,
We often know a lot about ourselves. When and how do we react to things, what are the reasons behind them, and how we can manage ourselves in certain situations? However, while working with others, there can be incidents and past happenings which we do not know that contribute to how people react to certain situations. But one thing that I can be sure about is that crying is simply an expression of strong emotions.
It is the highest degree of any emotion that exists. Be it anger, love, hate, or any other emotion, we all end up crying when the emotion is too strong. But, one thing to note here is you do not need to stop the conversation if somebody is expressing their emotions. It does not mean you need to put a halt to the discussion.
Your colleague’s tears will not hurt anyone. Especially you. It is just evidence of how strongly your colleague feels in that particular situation. I also believe that if someone tries to stop their tears, they feel more disconnected and shut down. Emotional distress can lead to other problems, and when our mind releases tension in the form of tears or any other appropriate channel, one can be more in the conversation, listen, respond and process what needs to be processed. So, if your colleague feels she needs to cry in order to stay connected, let her do that.
How about you let her be, and next time when you’re about to have an over-the-top conversation, be ready with a box of tissues. Discuss what needs to be done, let her cry as much as she wants to, and get things done. Just be sure that you stay focused and say the things that are required. Note where you become uncomfortable because of her emotions. Breathe, and Stay Calm.
Apart from that, you can gently suggest she can google some techniques to stay calm and control her emotions. It is possible that she is still unaware that there is so much google can help us with. Also, a little note on gender. I do believe that in our culture, the only acceptable way to express emotions for men is in rage. Crying is acceptable for women, and they often are termed weak, meek, and too emotional for it. When in reality, it is just an expression of strong emotion.
So Raj just relaxes and takes one thing at a time. You want your employees to come to work with their true nature and not just fake people who hide away from things. It can be messy for both of you, but what is required right now is a consideration from both parties. Especially you.
Regards,
Yogesh Sood
The above is inspired by a blog written by Madeleine Homan Blanchard on SEPTEMBER 25, 2021: