Dear Yogesh,

I work on a team that has seen a lot of turnover over the past few years. While our company is large, I’ve learned over time who to contact to get things done, and I’ve become known as the “answer lady” for our team.

However, this role has slowly turned into people asking me to forward their emails or handle tasks that aren’t really mine. I now find myself taking care of a lot of things that others should be doing themselves. On top of that, my boss has been dealing with personal issues, so I’ve had to step in for her frequently.

Recently, I’ve realized that all these small things have added up, and I’m doing much more than I think is fair. I’m getting frustrated. How can I push back when my co-workers try to offload their work on me? And how do I tell my boss that I can’t continue filling in for her as much as she’d like? After all, I have my own life to manage.

Lalita

Dear Lalita,

How do you push back? How do you tell your boss “enough is enough”?

The answer is direct, clear, kind, and firm.

The problem is that you’ve been unintentionally training your co-workers to think that you’ll take care of things they don’t want to do. You’ve also been training your boss to believe you can do both your job and hers. The key is to stop enabling this behavior.

I’m not blaming you for being helpful—it’s a natural impulse. Many people fall into this trap until they realize that their willingness to help has led to an unsustainable workload. The issue is that when you continue to take on tasks that aren’t yours, people come to expect it. You need to stop allowing that.

I know this will be uncomfortable at first, especially if you tend to shy away from conflict. Setting boundaries might cause inconvenience or frustration for others, but the discomfort of setting these boundaries now will prevent ongoing frustration down the road.

The next time a co-worker tries to fob off their work on you, simply redirect them. Politely but firmly let them know who they should contact or what steps they should take next, and ask them to follow up with you once it’s resolved. Don’t take over their tasks, forward their emails, or handle things that aren’t part of your job. Just stop taking on more work than is reasonable.

As for your boss, I think it’s completely fair to have a conversation. Let her know that while you’ve been happy to help during a tough time, your workload is becoming unmanageable. Be clear about what tasks you’re willing to continue handling on her behalf and which ones are beyond your scope. It’s a good idea to prepare a list of what makes sense for you to keep doing and what you need to step away from.

If you feel comfortable, this might be a good time to consider a conversation about a potential promotion or raise. If you’re taking on significant extra duties, it might warrant a conversation about your role and compensation. You could approach this by saying something like, “I understand you need coverage, and I’d be happy to take on additional responsibilities, but it might make sense to adjust my title and pay during this time.” Keep the conversation professional and solutions-focused.

The more you practice setting clear boundaries, the easier it will be to communicate them. Often, people will pick up on this shift and stop asking you to do things that aren’t your responsibility. But it won’t happen overnight, and you’ll need to be ready to assert your limits firmly.

Start today, before the frustration builds up to a point where you say something you regret. It’s much better to have this conversation calmly now than to wait until you’re overwhelmed and angry.

Remember, there’s a big difference between helping out in a pinch and letting others take advantage of your time. If you don’t draw the line, they’ll continue to cross it.

Good luck!

Best regards,

Yogesh