Dear Yogesh,

My spouse and I do not see eye to eye with each other on many issues. One particular habit of his/hers is very annoying for me. Frequently she/he would interrupt whenever I said something.

How do I handle this troubling situation?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you’re feeling unheard and disrespected in your conversations with your spouse. This can be really challenging, especially when you’ve already expressed your needs, but things haven’t changed. Here are a few strategies you can try to improve your relationship:

1. Revise Your Expectations

You might need to adjust your expectations when it comes to your spouse’s behavior. It seems like she has a pattern of interrupting or dominating conversations, and despite your requests, she hasn’t changed. While it’s hard to accept, sometimes the best course of action is to stop expecting her to listen in the way you’d like her to.

Instead, consider focusing on what she needs from the conversation. If your time with her is primarily about her, be prepared to listen without expecting her to reciprocate. When you go into conversations with this mindset, it might reduce some of the frustration you feel. But, importantly, make sure you set limits—don’t let these interactions drain you. Recognize when your patience is running out, and feel empowered to end the conversation when it’s no longer fulfilling for you.

2. Get Better at Asserting Your Needs

The second option is to become more assertive about your needs in conversations. Since your spouse is not likely to change, you might need to take charge of the situation yourself. It can be uncomfortable at first, but you can practice asserting your desire to finish speaking. If she starts to interrupt, raise your voice slightly to signal that you’re not done yet, and continue talking until she registers your message.

This approach isn’t about being rude but about making sure your voice is heard. If you assert your needs clearly, you may stop feeling resentful and begin to engage more freely in your conversations.

3. Spend Less Time with spouse

If the previous strategies don’t work for you, consider limiting your time with her. Sometimes, the best way to protect yourself emotionally is to take a step back. You can’t change her behavior, but you can control how often you expose yourself to it. This will give you space to preserve your energy and your relationship without feeling constantly stifled.

Ultimately, life teaches us to navigate relationships with imperfect people, and it sounds like your spouse’s conversational style might be one of those imperfections. Finding peace with it and asserting your needs when necessary will help you manage this relationship more healthily.

I hope these suggestions help you create more balance and peace in your interactions with your spouse.

Sincerely yours,

Yogesh