Dear Yogesh,

Do you feel cheated or let down by your superiors at the workplace? Or have your supervisors forgotten their verbal promises on any crucial matter, leaving you stuck? I experienced a similar instance where I was offered two different opportunities in my organization. One was to lead a significant software project where I was assisting my supervisor, and another was to take up a new mentorship role for junior employees. Of course, I chose the former, but it proved my biggest blunder. My supervisor backtracked, and I lost the opportunity to lead that major software project. Unfortunately, that second opportunity too vanished away by that time. With no choice left, I had to continue with my supporting role.

It has already been more than a year, but I am still stuck with my old role. I don’t know how to approach my senior and ask to hand over the opportunity to lead the project. I am afraid my gut instinct could penalize me and affect my overall corporate growth. Please guide me on how to move ahead.

Regards,

Rachit

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Dear Rachit,

It feels terrible to hear about your loss of growth opportunities at the workplace. I know you made some choices based on verbal assurances and promises. But those promises and trust have been shattered. And now you feel betrayed and cheated. What can you do? With your situation in mind, I want you to focus on three things to get a fair assessment.

1. What should be your learnings from the past?
2. What should be done in the present?
3. What are your plans for the future?

The Past - From your initial conversation, it seems you failed to address your past concern when your trust violation occurred. When you need to confront your superior for that breach of trust, you took an alternative and quickly moved on to the best possible scenario. In all this, you failed to convey your concern to the boss and did not ask for any justifications. Instead of taking things for granted, you need to stand up at the moment and say, “That was not our deal. As you have broken the promise, how do you want to compensate for that?” The bigger picture was that your boss owed you an explanation, but you missed the opportunity. However, you become a petitioner instead of the aggrieved party.

In the entire incident, you lost your bargaining power and sounded more like a “Cry baby” when you should be the “Warriorqueen.” You started underestimating yourself and tried to remain in the “good books of your boss” to score brownie points or an exciting career opportunity.

The Present - It is the time to analyze yourself psychologically and address every concern based on your viewpoint. Don’t keep yourself restricted to your current job, so you don’t have to be at the mercy of your boss. Steer your mind to develop alternate plans to utilize your hidden potential to the fullest. Engage yourself in this activity and employ your time, networking, research, and courage to explore various growth opportunities in your way.

The Future - Once you know about the opportunities, you will feel more empowered in your conversations with superiors. Try to remain straightforward without beating around the bush. Talk about your agreement and remind your senior about the promise without making any accusations. To put more emphasis on your statement, support it with proper evidence. Try to come out of that apologetic tone and remain confident while expressing how that “sudden change of plans” made your world upside down. After describing your ordeal, you need to develop a mutual ground where you can state your current desire about how you want to lead that project. Also, try to figure out differences with your seniors and discuss how you fit in the current scheme of things, possible growth opportunities for you, and what needs improvement from your end.

If you can talk about this conversation confidently, believe me, there is no need for compromise. It will further eliminate all your doubts about any “conscious or unconscious penalties” at your workplace. So, it is time to address the elephant in the room and leave nothing to your vague imagination. Because in the end, it is all about “Now or never.”

Regards,

Yogesh Sood

The above is an adaptation of a blog written by Joseph Grenny.

https://cruciallearning.com/blog/when-your-supervisor-goes-back-on-their-word/