Dear Yogesh,

We've been putting off dealing with a worker's hygiene problem. He occasionally works on-site but usually works from home. He has long fingernails and stains on his shirt, making him too messy for our bakery stores. Despite being the proprietor, I am still determining the proper time to bring this up.

Regards,
Himanshu

Dear Himanshu,

I want to share with you a couple of ideas.

• We find it difficult to speak up if we assume responsibility for another's emotions.
• The more terrifying a discourse seems, the more likely we are making it up.

Years of observing my emotional reactions to the idea of a Crucial Conversation have given me those insights. I offer these to you in case they can be of use. Consider the possibility that you've been avoiding this discussion because, instead of taking accountability for your motive and words, which are within your control, you've been assuming accountability for how your employee might feel if you speak up. Take responsibility for what you can, such as how you will adequately express your opinions, first.

Next, look for stories in your heart. We frequently avoid raising concerns because we believe the person is disrespectful, ignorant, lazy, foolish, incompetent, or has other negative traits.

Here's the problem, as I see it: You work with food, and hygiene affects both client confidence and safety. You have a worker whose personal hygiene is subpar. Think about how direct this conversation may be.

Do you have a moment, Arjun?" I'm not sure how to phrase this the best, but it's crucial for our business, and I respect you enough, to be honest. Although I don't object to how you look or are dressed, I'm concerned that our clients might. I've noticed you regularly have dirt beneath your fingernails and stains on your clothes. I'm worried about how customers may react to this. You are not in trouble, and I'm not offended; I'm only trying to think of the customers. Could you take care of those two matters before you get to work?

I'm not trying to downplay this conversation; I know it's complicated. I'm attempting to show that there is no reason why you cannot courteously express your opinions if you take ownership of what is within your power and master your tale.

Have you also communicated expectations? Avoid this discussion by outlining clear expectations for EVERY employee. Create a document that sets expectations for workplace hygiene. Call a meeting to discuss it. Then observe the results. Your employee needs to be made aware of what is expected of him. In other words, approach this as a professional skill issue rather than a moral shortcoming. This will make it easier for you to endorse the new behavior rather than criticize the old. You might even propose to purchase him a few shirts for the office.

This does not guarantee your employee won't be offended; he might be. However, if you've taken the necessary steps internally to ensure you can speak respectfully, you're much more likely to continue a conversation regardless of how he reacts.

We frequently turn minor problems into huge problems. Despite their initial reluctance, individuals value candid criticism. Even though it takes bravery, it initiates a discourse. Nothing can be resolved until you start speaking.

Regards,
Yogesh

PS: One more thing. It's not disrespectful to not be accountable for another person's feelings. Respecting someone else's feelings is different from attempting to control them.

Reference Link: The above is an adaptation of a blog written by Ryan Trimble on April 26, 2023, https://cruciallearning.com/blog/how-to-talk-to-someone-about-their-poor-hygiene/