Dear Yogesh

There are employees in my team who have respect issues with their colleagues, which makes it hard for them to communicate with each other. Past incidents and issues have led to this varied thinking. This, in turn, has been causing a lot of drama and unnecessary conflicts in the team. As a manager, I feel there is a need for me to step in as this is diverting people from their real purpose and mission. How can I help lead the team to work with everyone with respect and peace?

Signed,
Karan

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Dear Karan,

I understand that situations like these can arise in any organization having a lot of people working together. But respect is a very important ingredient in the stew of hierarchy. The authors of Crucial Conversations once talked about how respect can be compared to the air around us. Important yet unnoticed. And as soon as it is taken away, it creates mayhem.

To get back everything in order, here are a few steps that you can follow:

Take the initiative to Separate Facts from Fancy

Nobody starts to think differently without observing something particular. If your team has started seeing someone differently, this is because they noticed or observed something in the employee. Ask your employees if they have seen the person do it or if what they’ve heard is just a rumor. It can help them contemplate and think that what they’re doing is right or not.

Help Your Colleagues See Their Real Story

A lot of times, how people see others is the fiction of their thoughts and imagination. The best way to deal with a situation like this is to understand the origin of it rather than the emotions behind it. Focus on the stories that people tell each other and try to start from the baseline.

Make Them Conversate With Each Other

People often talk behind the backs of other people rather than talking on their faces. This is where your position will play a major role in sorting things out. Whenever you see them complaining about a particular colleague, ask them to have a dialogue instead of jumping to conclusions.

Get Rid of the Negative Stories

When an employee starts discussing a negative story, it is bad. But, if the whole team starts to discuss it, it is even worse. It’s not uncommon for teams to conflict with other teams. Whenever a person starts with a negative story or discussion, look closely at how others react to it. Are they agreeing, disagreeing, or are they simply quiet? Challenge these stories so that they do not go out of the room. If you don’t disagree or ask to refute, people will eventually start believing.

Make People See The Commonality

People often complain about each other when they see the differences between them. We often justify bad behavior by believing they are different from us. Attacking ideas, doubting characters, ignoring concerns, making false assumptions, and whatnot. This is an unproductive and easy approach. If there are uncommon behaviors amongst the team, try to find the commonality between them rather than letting the rumor spread.

Remember, when it comes to defining the tone of your team, you need to permit what you’d love to see promoted. Therefore, try to promote two-way conversations and action rather than complaints and irrational tittle-tattle.

Best of Luck,

Yogesh

This blog is an adaptation of a blog written by Justin Hale on June 23rd, 2021 - https://cruciallearning.com/blog/how-to-restore-respect-in-your-workplace/.