Dear Yogesh,
I really like my job, and I tend to go the extra mile.
I recently scheduled my quarterly one-on-one with my manager, but he emailed me beforehand:
“Hey, do you mind if we cancel for this quarter? You’re doing great, and I never have to worry about you. Just keep it up!”
I suppose that’s good news. But honestly, I need more than that.
Sometimes it feels like I’m being rewarded for doing a good job by getting less attention. I don’t want to become the squeaky wheel, but I would really value some feedback about how I’m doing, where I could improve, and whether there’s anything I should be focusing on.
What should I do?
—Ishwar
Dear Ishwar,
You aren’t being punished—but I can understand why it might feel that way.
It’s frustrating when being reliable and making your manager’s job easier seems to result in getting less feedback, not more.
But if you don’t say anything, you’re likely to get more of the same.
There is an important difference between being a squeaky wheel and taking responsibility for what you need.
Being a squeaky wheel is demanding attention. Taking responsibility is clearly asking for the support that will help you grow.
The key is to make it easy for your manager to give you useful feedback.
You can start by acknowledging the positive message:
“I appreciate hearing that you’re confident in my work. I’m glad to know I’m meeting expectations.”
Then explain what you need:
“At the same time, I find our one-on-ones valuable because they give me a chance to understand how I’m doing and where I can continue to grow. If we need to skip the meeting this quarter, would you be willing to answer a few questions by email?”
Then keep the questions simple.
For example:
- Is there anything you think I should start or stop doing?
- Is there anything I should be doing more or less of?
- Is there anything you think I should know about my performance, relationships, or impact?
- What is one thing I could do that would make me even more effective?
The easier you make it for your manager to respond, the more likely you are to get something useful.
Give Your Manager the Bigger Picture
You can also help your manager understand why you’re asking for feedback.
Think about what you want next in your career.
Maybe you’re ready for a stretch assignment—something more challenging or strategic that will help you build new capabilities.
Perhaps you want a better understanding of how your work contributes to the broader team or organization.
Or maybe you’re wondering whether your manager sees you as someone with leadership potential and what you could do now to prepare for that possibility.
Whatever your motivation, tell your manager.
For example:
“I’m interested in taking on more strategic work over the next year, so I’d really value your perspective on what I should develop or demonstrate to be ready for that.”
Now your manager has context.
Instead of simply asking, “How am I doing?”, you’re giving them something specific to consider.
The more clearly you communicate what you’re trying to accomplish, the easier it is for someone else to help you get there.
Don’t Wait for Feedback to Find You
Research consistently shows that employees often want more recognition and feedback than they receive—and managers aren’t always good at knowing exactly what their people need.
That means self-leadership matters.
It can feel uncomfortable to ask for what you need, particularly when you’re worried about appearing demanding or difficult.
But no one else can advocate for your development quite the way you can.
And if you are already performing well, this is actually a good time to ask.
You’re not asking because you’re failing.
You’re asking because you want to keep getting better.
So don’t be afraid to make the request.
Your manager may genuinely believe that “You’re doing great” is all you need to hear.
Help them understand that you’re looking for more.
Ask for perspective.
Ask for guidance.
Ask for feedback.
And most importantly, don’t assume that being a great performer means you have to quietly wait for someone to notice what you need next.
Don’t let your manager forget that you’re a human being with hopes, ambitions, and a desire to grow.
Because if you don’t remind them, they may simply assume you’re fine.
And “fine” is not the same thing as growing.
Warm regards,
Yogesh