Dear Yogesh,
I recently attended some of my company’s leadership classes and learned about SLII®. Having managed people for over a decade, I can honestly say SLII® has been a game-changer for me. It helped me realize that one of my biggest challenges has been holding back when it comes to providing clear direction or close oversight, especially when someone is new to a task or goal.
Early in my career, I read a lot about the pitfalls of micromanagement, which I personally dislike. To avoid being seen as a micromanager, I likely overcorrected, and now I see how that approach created challenges for my team.
Here’s where I need your advice. I work from home a few days a week, and recently my wife got a remote job too. The other day, she overheard me talking to a new hire—a talented individual we brought on to tackle a complex technical project. This job has been backlogged for some time and is critical to our company’s systems. Since the system is custom-built and completely new to her, I’ve been using an SLII® Style 1 approach: giving clear direction, daily checklists, and having her practice in a demo system before working in the live environment.
She’s learning quickly, but later that day, my wife casually mentioned I sounded “really bossy” on the call. She was joking, but it threw me off. I tried explaining that I was providing the clarity and support this person needed as she’s still in the early stages of learning, but his comment stuck with me.
Now I’m questioning myself again. Am I overdoing it? Am I being too controlling? I can’t shake the negative connotations of the word “bossy,” and the childhood joke in our house about being a “Bossy Lad” isn’t helping. Am I really a Bossy Lad?
Harpreet
Dear Harpreet, First things first: You are not a Bossy Lad. You are a conscientious leader doing what great managers do—setting your employees up for success. Let’s unpack this.
To give some context for others reading this, SLII® is a leadership model that helps managers adapt their approach to the needs of their team members based on their competence and confidence with specific tasks. A Style 1 (S1) approach focuses on providing clear direction, breaking tasks into manageable steps, and clarifying expectations. For someone new to a role or task, this is exactly what they need to build confidence and competence.
Your wife’s teasing remark likely tapped into a deeper sore spot many women experience around the term “bossy.” Society tends to encourage leadership traits in boys while labeling similar behaviors in girls as overbearing. It’s an outdated stereotype, but it can still sting when someone unintentionally invokes it.
Let me assure you: what you’re doing is not micromanagement—it’s excellent management. Research shows that clarity and regular feedback are critical for employee success. For instance:
Only 45% of younger workers (under 35) clearly know what’s expected of them at work.
A whopping 96% of employees say they value regular feedback.
When managers fail to provide direction, employees are left uncertain, which can lead to burnout or disengagement. By giving your new hire clear instructions and actionable steps, you’re not being “bossy”; you’re ensuring she has what she needs to succeed.
The Difference Between Direction and Micromanagement
The key distinction lies in what the person being managed needs. SLII® emphasizes partnering with employees to tailor your support to their current needs for each task or goal. Providing direction to someone who requires it isn’t micromanaging—it’s being a responsive, thoughtful manager. On the flip side, withholding direction when someone needs it is simply bad management.
If you’re worried about overdoing it, the best way to gauge your approach is to ask. Simple questions like
“Am I explaining things too much?”
“Do you feel like you’re getting the guidance you need, or should I adjust?”
These questions not only help you fine-tune your management style but also create a culture of open communication where employees feel safe sharing their needs.
When Doubts Creep In
It’s natural to second-guess yourself when someone, even jokingly, suggests you’re being too controlling. But trust in your training and your instincts. As your employee gains confidence, she’ll move into the next stages of development, and your support can evolve with her. Before you know it, she’ll be thriving as an independent contributor, and you’ll know you played a big part in that.
Finally, if your husband teases you again, just smile, laugh, and say, “Moo.” Then remind yourself that you’re doing exactly what a great manager does—empowering your team for success.
YS